In years past I have found that I am often so busy hustling and bustling about trying to get everything done that I don't take the time to reclaim the joy of holidays. My family enjoys a hearty, delicious meal that is served on the finest china with beautiful garnishes.... the house looks and smells fantastic, the scene is set, and everything is perfect....... except me. I wind up harried and stressed, barely making it out of my flannel pajamas in time for the feast, only to get right back up and start cleaning the kitchen while our family and friends fellowship together in the living room, watching holiday movies and sipping eggnog.
By the time I am finished and am able to sit back down and enjoy the festivities, I am usually so tired that I want nothing more than to sit down in my favorite chair, inevitably falling asleep, mouth agape as the family giggles at how, for another year, the "turkey" made me sleepy.
It is so incredibly important to not be a martyr by only focusing on making the holidays happier for everyone else. Doing so puts a damper on things to begin with (if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy), so remember to take care of your wants and needs as well this holiday season.
Part of that for me, is making sure that I can prepare as much as possible before hand, so that there is not as much to do on the big day.
Having been out of town the past few days, the only thing I was able to do ahead of time is plan my menu and get the grocery shopping done.
I have already notified everyone that they have "jobs" to do on Thanksgiving day. I am taking care of a lot of the larger items (like the turkey, who we have named Sir Mixalot---- thanks hubby). The family has been given smaller jobs to help take away from the amount of things I have to do, and doing so also brings people in to the kitchen to spend time with me so that I am not isolated the entire day. Doing this also helps everyone to feel as though they had a stake in the meal, and really makes it fun when people comment how much they liked _____, which hubby made, or sister made... etc.
My kids are going to "help" me make the sweet potatoes this year. I'm doing all of the cutting a day ahead of time, so their "job" will be to layer the potato chunks and marshmallows while i add in the brown sugar and butter. they can then sprinkle salt and pepper, and they'll have made my favorite (and most time consuming) dish!
Hubby has been pitching in getting the house clean. It has helped to have a list of goals for what I wanted to have done. What has helped the most though, has been lowering my expectations, and being OKAY with that. Everything does not have to be perfectly clean for company. My basic standards are: I want people to feel like they can eat in my kitchen, that my bathroom is sanitary, and that my living space is cozy and comfortable. If I don't get the floors mopped in time, that's okay. If all of the laundry isn't finished, I wont freak out. If the beds don't get made, who cares. Focus on what is important on the big day. Prioritize, and let go of the mental stress, if just for today!
For food cleanup, We are doing several things.
During the cooking process, I am adding a "quick wash" step to every recipe. When I use a measuring cup, spoon, utensil, or mixing bowl, I wash it as soon as I am finished using it. This not only cuts down on the amount of cleanup after all is said and done, but it also helps me to use fewer dishes throughout the day. My goal is to have only pots/pans and serving dishes to do at the end of the cooking and serving process.
After the meal, I am asking everyone to rinse their plate in the sink, and load it in the dishwasher. Its just a few steps, and not a big request. By taking this small step, I save on an ENORMOUS amount of cleanup after the meal. Start the dishwasher as soon as all of the main dishes are in there - the rest can wait. Honestly. It can. Step. AWAY. From. The dishes.
For the storage of leftovers, I have collected reusable containers to put small amounts of various foods in. I have asked hubby to help me put the food away after the meal so that we can get it done in half of the time. For the majority of the food we are simply covering it with the dish's lid, or with foil to put into the refrigerator. The deboning of the turkey will occur the following day, when things settle down. For the moment, the turkey will be wrapped in foil and placed in the refrigerator.
Any food that cannot fit in the refrigerator should be sent home with guests. You can also bring plates full of food to the shut-ins in your community, or to college students or military men and women who are not able to get home for the holidays (you can get some cheap and pretty holiday plates from the dollar store).
Most of all, take moments throughout your day to focus on the spirit of the season within your home, take time out to fellowship with your friends and family, and don't worry about perfection. Sweet memories with your loved ones that bring about the spirit of the holidays will last much longer than a perfectly glazed turkey or home made wassail.
I'm definitely sending this post my mother in the hopes that she can take advantage of the lowering expectations idea :) Since my brother, sister and I have moved out, we bring dishes for dinner and try to help with the preparations, but my mother has a long standing tradition of stressing herself out by the small stuff :)
Posted by: Mary | November 29, 2007 at 08:52 AM