Caution: Food May Be Hot

I had good intentions.  Honest I did.  I've tried this before, and everything has gone as planned.  Its been healthy, delicious, and completely non-dangerous.  And... I'm sure I'll try it again.  I suppose the only difference is that I wont repeat... some... things...

I started out thinking about how much my oldest LOVES her broccoli cheese soup.   "Its just wonderful," I tell myself, reminiscing about how she even fed herself the entire bowl last time, which is a big feat considering her dexterity and fine motor issues.  The fact that there's broccoli in it, is a total bonus, and one I don't mind taking advantage of either!  "If I make a really big batch this time, I can freeze some so she can have individual servings of it when she doesn't like regular meals," I thought, as I patted myself proudly on the back, and got to cooking.

I'm tempted to start out conveying exactly how the kids have been in rare form this week, and especially with hubby out in the field for work, and with him not being home until laaaaaate tomorrow night, my hands have been full.... but it wouldn't be fair to put the blame for this on any of that, so I wont.  I won't blame my inattentiveness to dinner on the pile of candy on the floor that wasn't supposed to even be out.  I won't blame it on heads that got stuck between the couch and the wall (don't even ask).  I wont even blame it on the fact that a certain 6 year-old poured an entire bottle of clear shampoo all over the bathroom tile which led me to a slipping (and falling) situation more dire than anything you've ever seen at the winter Olympics.  No... I won't blame it on any of those distractions.

Instead... I am going to blame the broccoli.  Bad, bad broccoli.  He seemed so nice when he was boiling and mashing, filling the house with a yummy smell of vegetableness.  But no.  He had another agenda in mind.  You see, once Ms. Cheese joined Mr. Broccoli in the big pot of yumminess, Mr. Broccoli drafted a plan and somehow managed to convert Ms. Cheese into his sneaky shebang.  I swear I only walked away for a moment to dislodge a certain 2-year-old's head from a place it never should have been, when I suddenly smelled it. 

Burnt soup.

I prayed.  I hoped.  I stirred.  Sadly, it was all to no avail. 

Mr. Broccoli had taken his chance and bullied Ms. Cheese into this evil shenanigan against me.  We tried to eat it.  The kids even tried one bite.  My 6 year old, all excited for her beloved broccoli-cheese soup happily dug in, and made a face I hope to never see again.  My 2 year old threw her spoon on the floor (she got a time out) and very loudly said "ew YUCK!  is not yummy!"  I took a bite, and couldn't agree more. 

SO... before you here, is the most gourmet bowl of... dog food... you've ever seen.    Broccoli may have won this battle, but he won't win the war.

Since dinner was ruined and the troops were banging their fists for nourishment, I pulled out what every mother guiltily thanks God for on nights like this; the beloved TV dinner.   

I started to nuke one with all white chicken nuggets, macaroni, corn, and some chocolate-flavored thing with sprinkles for the youngest, who thinks that she's just won the lottery with the "yummy foooood," regardless of her previous time out.  I look at the box: remove plastic, take out sprinkles, keep corn covered, take out nuggets, microwave... check.  2 minutes later.... take out tray, stir mac, put in nuggets, microwave another min. check.

I was rockin' it.  I may have failed the soup, but this I could do.  I started to feel good about myself, rising to the occasion, finding a meal that I could reasonably argue had some sort of nutritional value (i know, i know... but i was desperate).

I pulled the tray out of the microwave, removed the film from the corn, and proceeded to test the temperature of everything before giving it to my two year old.  "nuggets are good.  Corn is warm, but not too hot," I said as I worked my way around the tray.  "Macaroni is still cool, but not cold."  Yep, I was feeling all "good mom-ish" as I saved the day and made my kids a meal I knew they would love.

I reached over to check the chocolate thing, and it was as though it was happening in slow motion.  my finger barely touched the tip of it, when a shriek of pain and desperation rose out of my throat and I flung mystery chocolate goo all over the kitchen. "CHOCOLATE LAVA!!!!!" I screamed and ran to put my finger under the cold water.

A few minutes later a blister had formed on my sad little digit and my children were happily eating their nuggets and mac, completely free of boiling chocolate lava.

Major crises averted, I'm still bearing a few battle wounds, and haven't managed to eat yet.  My house still smells like burnt evil broccoli.

I'm ordering chinese.

Comments

[Robyn]

oh no! Kristin I'm so sorry!! I was so excited for you about the soup!!

[Dove]

Oh, what a tragic story! I'm so sorry about the soup. I hate when that happens! And what on earth are the pudding makers thinking???

[Rachel]

Hey I wanted to let you know that a couple years ago the EXACT same thing happened to my son with a Kid Cuisine meal, he blistered his finger on a brownie that had frosting, AFTER it had been "cooling" for more than 2 minutes... I called the company and they sent coupons for free meals. Thanks, Kid Cuisine, my kid now knows what a burn feels like... :(

[Valerie]

Kristen, I am so sorry for your terrible misfortune! At the same time, I marvel at your ability to tell the story in such a captivating and entertaining way. I felt like it happened to me!

[Shannon (hamlette2002 at Ravelry)]

Watch out for the evil Sock Monster (the one that kidnaps lone socks somewhere between the hamper and the drawer). He'll conspire with anything that seems willing and able to thwart any effort towards an efficient home. I think my Sock Monster has taken up with the Tupperware Dishwasher Demon at my house.

[Louisa]

Oh noes!!

Broccoli cheese soup is the wonderfullest, except when it's burnt...yuk....

:-P I remember loving frozen dinners...now I hate preparing them for my siblings...

[Sharon]

Ugh, that sucks. I'm sorry. I hate hate hate to throw out food, and I especially hate throwing out food that I spent time and energy making. If it's any consolation, the picture sure looks yummy.

[Christina]

I love this story! :) It is so funny that I also made Broccoli Cheese soup yesterday afternoon and brought it with me to church. I had a bit of burnage on the bottom, but luckily it came up! Everyone loved it! I like it when everyone loves my food!

Hope you enjoyed your chinese! I know that you usually cook wonderfully!

[Nancy Grant]

After all that I hope you had a chance to enjoy every morsel of your Chinese take-out. Whew...what a day.

;-)