Onion Bread and Whatnot

Yes, have a thing for onion bread. 

I tried a new recipe today and it turned out pretty good - not as good as my usual recipe (which I'll try again, photograph, and post about later in the week) - but still good!  This one was pretty interesting in that it used green onions instead of white onions.  I had a ton in the fridge that needed to be used, so this is what came of it.  Being that it started as a bread machine recipe, its bound to be that there are a few kinks in transferring it to oven-baked goodness.  If you have a bread machine, I'd encourage you to give it a try and let me know what you think.  I followed the directions to the recipe exactly except that i hand kneaded it, let it rise about 2 hours, kneaded again and rose 2 hours more (took that long to get a good rise out of it, and it still came out rather chewy, albeit quite tasty!).

SO.  Other than baking, life seems to be pretty mild around here lately.  I have long debated about how much I should open up and be "raw" here (being that its my homemaking blog, and not so much a personal journal up to this point).  Because I think its important to keep being real, I have decided not to hide my grief on here, healing slowly though I may be.  I don't want to put on a front for you, my readers.  With me, its typically "what you see is what you get."  I do promise to focus on homemaking and creativity, but I'm going to include more of me here too.  So hang tight. :)

It seems a lot of our time lately has been spent trying not to dwell on our losses, and focus on the bounty around us, though certainly pangs of sorrow and grief creep in here and there.  Late at night seems to be the hardest for me now, with so much time to think and remember.  Sometimes as I'm going about my day I find myself with a tear on my cheek and I won't even remember crying.  I think possibly my body is still feeling the grief of losing this little one in even those moments when my mind is distracted. 

Its all a process, and one that takes time and the practice of living to get through.  I know with our last miscarriage we never stopped missing our little one, and I know we won't with this baby either.  Based on what we experienced last time with healing and moving on with life, I can say only that the pain subsides a little as we go on with the business of living our day to day lives, but the sorrow of missing our children will never go.  It sits idly most days on the rafters of our minds until we're reminded that our family is missing someone (seeing a pregnant belly, going through the holidays, or seeing a child that would have been around the same age for example).  Its never completely gone, as with the grief of any loss.  Right now my comfort lies in the fact that there is healing in living and finding joy in life again, whatever ways we can.

I am submersing myself back into the things that have meant something to me.  Creativity.  Home.  Family.  Friendships.  New dreams for the future.

One thing that I am hoping to do is to find new ways to be creative.  I'm hoping to have a project of some sort that I'm working on every day.  They don't have to be substantial, but finding ways to express creativity helps me feel like I'm moving forward, and also gives such a great sense of satisfaction at having completed something unique with my own two hands.  I don't know that there is anything quite like that feeling of fulfillment that comes from finishing a project.

Having a daily creativity challenge for myself is something I'm really excited about.  Does anyone want to join in with me this summer?

Comments

[Dana]

Before you go "Ewwwww" let me explain. Seven years ago I read the church bulletin and it said "STAMP CLASS" and I thought "Who collects stamps?" Well, it was a lady who makes cards and uses stamps to do it. Then I thought "Ewwwww. How childish!" until I went to the first class and saw the creativity that these women put into their work.

Would you be interested in trying it? You and I could even go so far as to exchange our cards and keep each other encouraged.

[kristin]

Dana - I've long been into scrapbooking and as a result love stamping & cardmaking too :) I think that's a great idea ;)

[Hunnybunny]

Ooh Onions and bread! Mmm, I was planning on starting a D word soon but I can push it back to try the recipe in a bread maker for you. I'm willing to sacrifice like that for you. I'm hoping to try to give myself some time every day for creative stuff, or even knitting from a pattern. We'll see how that goes, I look forward to watching you on your journey though.

[ellen kelley]

Your bread looks fantastic. I can almost smell the lovely, yummy aroma.
I would love to join in, but I am swamped with unfinished stuff right now and a thank you something or other that I have not even started.
I would encourage you to share anything that feels comfortable to you. Some days are easier and other days sometimes feel reclusive and private. Know that many people do care and in spirit, walk beside you.
Take care..best to you, e.

[Renell]

Great idea, I have some small things I can make for my etsy shop that I should be getting to, so I'll join you! And I remember seeing before the loveliest drawings and paintings that you had shared online...I would love to see some more. You have so much talent, so I am going to challenge you to get out your drawing/painting things and make a tag or card Ü

[Eileen]

A local fabric shop here in Philadelphia posted a bird pattern which would be fun with these small pieces.

Visit Spool,http://www.spoolsewing.com/blog/

for the pattern, http://www.spoolsewing.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/birdpattern1.pdf