Things are changing for us around the Rose household... So so many changes. It is kind-of scary, to be honest, all these unexpected turns we have been taking and that we know lay ahead of us on this road of life. There is no doubt that some of the stops along this road of life have been heart wrenching.
(Goodbye baby... we love you. We just hope that some deserving family will be better able to care for their baby now.)
But we are trying to remember that there are some exciting moments to the changes ahead as well, as we leave some of the pain of the past behind us and move forward with healing and anticipation.
Abbi is going to an Autism evaluation with the leading experts in Autism diagnostic criteria down in San Antonio. We are driving down to Texas this morning, and will be there until next Wednesday. This appointment brings us to a fork in the road for Abbi's care and her future. What these doctors say will drastically impact the road we take from here.
Needless to say we are nervous. We have spent the past several weeks getting things in order for this trip, meeting with occupational and physical therapists to get evaluations to take with us, prepared as much as we could family wise, and filled out 26 pages of difficult questions about Abbi's abilities and disabilities, many of which brought us to tears. We live with it every day but we don't often dwell on all that is wrong or how it is affecting our family. Being forced to focus on that isn't easy. But, "like a trooper," as mom would say, we pushed through it, and now move on to the next phase in this journey.
Part of Abbi's problems with Autism and Sensory Integration Disorder, is her inability to wait or have patience. She has no control over her emotions and its difficult for her to sit still in situations where she is uncomfortable. As a result, hospital stays are often difficult. One thing we have found to combat this is a miniature DVD player. We have now been through 3 of them, and a laptop - all of which have become victim to the drooling, dropping, and other mishaps that are bound to happen when children are the primary users of expensive electronic equipment. As a result, I designed a case that is padded with fleece, and also has a waterproof layer. It can cover the entire DVD player when its not in use, and can be easily slipped over the bottom half of the player while the movies are playing, so that it remains waterproof (and drool free). The pocket on top is to hold the DVD remote. The left side of the case (not shown) has open "windows" so that we can access the ac adapter, volume control & on/off button while still covered.
(I of course used the fabric from my fat quarter stash as well, and was left with about 4x7" of fabric leftover from this project's fat quarter to be used at a later date).
All in all - I know that we are embarking on a great adventure ahead. There may be some scary curves ahead, but we're determined to focus on the scenery along the way as we head toward our destination, wherever that may be. It's all about the journey anyway.
What a fantastic mom you are! I know I mentioned on the Ravelry board that one of our family friends growing up had autism. I saw first hand all the hard work his family went through to make his life "normal" It takes a special kind of parent to do those things without resentment. I respect and admire you for that dedication you and your husband have. I wish you the best on your journey and hope that it can help your family in ways you didn't yet know were possible.
On a less touching note the bread was AWESOME!
Posted by: Hunnybunny | June 20, 2008 at 12:52 PM
The first step is always the hardest. I know this is far from your first step in the saga, but this seems like a new beginning.
I wish you courage and peace!
Posted by: Kathi D | June 20, 2008 at 01:08 PM
You are in my heart and prayers......have a safe trip. Andrea @ Big Creek Cottage
Posted by: Andrea | June 20, 2008 at 01:29 PM
You are in my heart and prayers......have a safe trip. Andrea @ Big Creek Cottage
Posted by: Andrea | June 20, 2008 at 01:29 PM
you have the right attitude, and that is what will make this journey easier for you both.
Posted by: Sara, The Wine Makers Wife | June 20, 2008 at 03:58 PM
Blessings to you as you face balancing the needs of your daughter and those of your family. I have two friends each with an autistic child (now 14 and 5) and see what devotion the children need.
And I love the DVD player cover - great to see your creative side finding purpose in the demands of family.
Posted by: Eileen | June 20, 2008 at 09:03 PM
So true, we live this life with our little ones, never really thinking about their disabilities..but when we have to sit down and start listing abilities/deficits, it's almost suffocating.
I know you hear me when I say 'I understand'....you and your family have a special place in my heart.
I know how important it is to have a strong family bond.....it may be the one constant our little ones have.
Posted by: Shannon O. | June 20, 2008 at 09:37 PM
What a lot you have going on! I hope you have a good trip with positive outcomes!
Posted by: Michelle | June 20, 2008 at 10:33 PM
Hugs now. Hugs later. Like the story you shared... Holland is a beautiful destination, too.
I hope the evaluation has the results needed so Abbi can get into a program at the schools which fills her needs.
The DVD player cover is adorable :)
Posted by: Diane | June 21, 2008 at 05:23 AM
Sending lots of love and prayers for the answers you will recieve, the ones you may not, and for peace and calm in your hearts as you travel this road. I'm wrapping you, Abbi, Kevin and Anna in the biggest of hugs... I hope you feel them. You are my family and your joys are my joys, your sorrows are my sorrows and I am there with you in heart every step of the way. When you need something just know that no matter how far away you are I am holding your hand just when you need it the most. I love you guys with all my heart.
The cover you made is simply wonderful... I bet she is the coolest kiddo on the block to have a mommy who designs such a wonderful thing for her. Fantastic job!
Love you! :-*
Posted by: rachel hall | June 21, 2008 at 05:46 PM
I can imagine how heart wrenching it is to pack off all of those baby things and how scary your trip is.
Take care and know lots of us are thinking of you and your whole family.
May you find the best help there is and may your load lighten with each coming day.
Posted by: ellen kelley | June 23, 2008 at 04:14 PM